18 - Now Legally Allowed to Sleep!

Quick update:
I am sick! Arrrrhhhhh Scheisse! 
I decided to go to bed 1 hr early last nights core and I awoke really well!
Feeling ill again right now however. 
I suspect that my cold nap on the lounge a few days in a row didn't help...so I'm going to nap on the floor in the office where it's nice and warm!
I apologise for all my sentences beginning with "I".
Simon Drew this:

(I don't know why he drew this, but he did!)

(I don't know why he drew this, but he did!)


Good morning. Right now it is 2:24am and I just was outside Wim Hoffing and Vipassaning. Which means.... IT'S WARM!!!! Well that might be putting it too kindly, but it's NOT FREEZING!
This is a great turn of events and happies me greatly.

Today I shall draw something else that Happies me. Pear Babies in Space!

Also doubles as an image for a future Envelope of Awesome image!!

Also doubles as an image for a future Envelope of Awesome image!!

Five - teen! or "The Three Pre-teens and The Fallen Chips"

Good morning! 

So it's half way, roughly. It's also 2.42am! What else is it? Well, everything is it really isn't it? Is it? 

I'm not sure what it is. Language is weird. OH WAIT! I thought of the best way to start Twisty's story.....Hmm Lemme remember....

"September the 3rd 1959. Three young boys were on the corner of Scrooge and Hummings street, they were coincidentally named Huey, Duey and Stephen. Stephen had stolen some sweets from the local Lolly shop and they were excitedly sharing out the spoils of his misdemeanour. Just then Duey noticed a police officer rounding the corner and they hastily picked up a loose cobble stone and shoved the paper bag evidence under it. The police man walked past the three criminals and they ran off with their sticky hands shoved in their sugar filled pockets whispering vintage swearwords under their breath.

Exactly 58 years later a young red head girl wearing a very large coat carrying hot chips in a paper bag came walking towards the evidence concealing footpath. Her name was Twisty and she humming the theme to her favourite childhood show, Ducktales. She promptly failed to notice the loose flagstone and tripped herself up spilling all her hot chips all over the footpath. Letting out a deep sigh she stood staring at the end of her lunch for a few seconds. A few very modern swear words entered Twisty's mind in those moments, but because there was a police man just rounding the corner at that time she decided to non-verbally express her hatred for the universe's disregard for her delicious meal. She crouched down and arranged the now spoiled potato pieces into a rather offensive and explicit word that she thought perfectly conveyed how she felt. 

Happy with her small curse word shrine to her fallen friends and noticing the policeman duck as a flock of pigeons flew toward the scene, she swiftly swished her giant coat and marched up Hummings street in search for more chips. " 


I wonder what kinds of swear words young boys used to know in 1959? They didn't have the internet to teach them all the good ones!

And the worst Cartoon of the Week award goes to ME! YAAY! *Rapturous applause*

Worstcartoon ever.PNG


I have a tummy ache. :(
I ate too much bacon and cheese kranskies yesterday. I think the bacon might have been a little too old? I don't know.
But I hope I will feel better today, I plan to only start eating again when I'm hungry.


Thirteen! The day of Thirs. Thirsday you could say.

So here we are. We went to town and saw a talk at the theatre. I adhered to all my naps, including my core, and I feel FANTASTIC! YAY!

I had to leave the show early however, but I was all caught up by those beautiful people who watched it in it's entirety. Twas Michael Mosley that we went to see! Or Micky Mo as I like to now call him. 

It's quite hard to write things that are interesting and entertaining. Let's do an experiment. I'm going to write the first thing that comes into my head on the next three lines. Then I'm going to try and write a joke about a dog on the three lines after that. We shall then see who is funnier, my subconscious self or my conscious 'i'mtryingtobefunny' self. 

Opening doors can be quite tricky, if you only had one door to open that would be the best thing woudn't it? But no, we all have multiple doors in our lives and we must open them whenever we must. Oh look, I only have about half a line left to be funny...... Helicopter cheese.

The puppy sat, dumfounded as he watched the monstrosity being performed by the human on the White-Cold Drinking Bowl of Wonder. The bathroom was cold and Gerry had had a bad night before. His body was now emptying as much badness as he could into the toilet. Why any sentient being would do that to such a clean source of drinking water the puppy didn't know.

OKAY OKAY! So I over wrote by a line there..... If you resize the browser window you can change the number of lines. HUZZAH!  

Anyway, I believe that I have much much more practice inside me that I need to get out. A little like what my Work Experience supervisor said when I went to Disney Studios in Sydney. "Every artist has 50 bad drawings to get out before a good one comes out." I think I have about 500,000 bad words to get out before I write some good ones. 

I wonder if this was the same for Gerry?

Random drawing of today! That frying pan looks ominous. I think I'm going to have to work on my Relevancy.

Random drawing of today! That frying pan looks ominous. I think I'm going to have to work on my Relevancy.






Welcome to Day Twelve of the Polyphasic Sleep Adaption Extravaganza! Where our protagonist Mr Simon accidentally overslept by 45 mins in his core. He was saved only by the wits and cunning insomnia of his beautiful wife Cassandra. 

On an unrelated note, Simon did some drawing: 

One day I wont have 47 jobs and then I can draw things that make sense!

One day I wont have 47 jobs and then I can draw things that make sense!

Day 11 - 5 minute post.

Ok so This is a speedy post.... I'm going to write for 5 Minutes straight and then I'm going to draw something for 5 minutes. I'm not entirely sure yet what I'm going to draw, but by now you should know what I have drawn and you should tell me what it is so that I don't have to think about it too much..... So...? What is it?

Hmm... You're no help, I'm going to have to take my own advice and come up with something to draw. Ok. So ...... an animal? Yes. I like drawing animals. Isn't it strange how some animals everyone thinks they know what they look like.... until you say, "Hey ! Draw this animal for me." and your brain says, "Oh yes, I know exactly what that animal looks like." You then promptly and with great confidence pick up your pencil and then successfully draw a strange conglomeration of all the animals you learnt to draw in primary school!

Okay, so now I'm going to do a mental exercise in the last 1:40min. I'm imagining I'm in a dark warm and cosy library and I have a larrrrge book on my lap as I sit in a leather couch. I open the book heaving the heavy pages over to rest on my thigh. I look into the left hand page and I see the animal I'm going to draw..... It is a: DODO BIRD!

OKAY! I don't think I've drawn one before.... did I succeed?

Hmmm... 5 mins went SO QUICK! Time is so weird. So is this Dodo.

Hmmm... 5 mins went SO QUICK! Time is so weird. So is this Dodo.


So, ten days. Ten entire days of sleeping Polyphasically. Which apparently isn't a word. "Polyphasically" isn't a word, not "Ten" or "Days". That would be rather a major revelation. So only 20 days to go until I reach roughly a month, then apparently the sleep deprivation symptoms should start disappearing! YAY! 

And now for my enjoyment I will draw some humans!


Nine? Nein. . . no? Not Nein, Nine.

And on the 9th day, it was windy. So windy. It's really windy guys. It's approaching 9.99 on the official, authentic and totally-not-made-up Windometer. Outside right now it sound like what it would be like to be a ladybug sitting on the very top of a car's radio antennae as the car speeds down an unrestricted autobahn in Europe somewhere. 

Or it's similar in feel (but not intensity) to when mucus dries in your nasal passage in the just the right way to make a whistling sound at the most inopportune moments. 

Yours in Nose Whistling goodness, 

Sir Nomi of Nose Whistlers Anonymous.

00021212 nose.PNG